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	::. powered by (gD) thirdseal ::. RADIO BAM ::. DOWNLOADS ::. PLAYLIST ::. MEDIA LIST WISH LISTS: Amazon Hot Topic DeviantART Be sure to check out threadless an on going t-shirt design contest. You can submit your own designs, buy t-shirts, and rate the shirts based on what you like. check it out ::. Archives twitter.com/trend_whore DC Subaru Rally Team USA - Travis Pastrana Ride Al... test Follow Me Believe in the power of ONE: Evan Tanner 1971-2008... UFC Undisputed gameplay trailer Middleweight Top 10 Sengoku: Kazuo Misaki vs. Siyar Bahadurzada Sengoku: Evangelista Cyborg vs Makoto Takimoto Sengoku: Kazuyuki Fujita vs Peter Graham January 2004 February 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 September 2008 May 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 lost		3.08.2006 - 7:24:00 AM - lost I think I decided to write this because I just don't have anything else to do at work right now. I have been watching movies but I can't right now. It's getting later in the morning so more people are coming in. I'm just sitting here with my thumb in my ass and a phone to my ear waiting... Waiting on that next call to come or that next email to flow through cyber space with some urgent request that they forgot their password. It's a damn shame. I know... I feel pretty shitty. I've felt shitty all week. It feels like someone just ran and dropped kicked me in the heart. And then got back up and just repeatedly rabid punched me right in the middle of the chest. Or like in a cartoon when someone shoots something and it leaves it completely intact but there's a huge fuckin' hole in the middle of it. That's how I feel. You can probably guess why but I don't really feel like going into it. I'm just hurt. I just miss her and it feels so bad not to talk to someone you care about. But again I shouldn't really take it so hard. It's happened before. And I keep letting it happen. Is it worth it? I dunno. It's draining. Its never easy thinking about someone you care about being with some other guy or kissing some other guy or walking around camp penn in the summer with some other guy... Depressing, it really is. I know we weren't together but we had seen each other a couple of times since we broke up. And I had a lot of fun. It was so fun to be around her. Our relationship was just so damn complicated but when we weren't technically together it was pretty fun. But I went and bought her Pride and Prejudice and met her for lunch on Friday. I tried to call her back that night and she told me she went out on a date to a movie with another guy. That made me feel really low. It broke my heart completely. I felt like shit. I felt worthless. I felt so damn stupid. On a good note I did get an email from someone from high school the other day. I googled her name and I found an email address for her. I sent her an email and she actually replied. It was really good to hear from her. Hopefully I get to see her soon. I want to learn how to fight. I know you're thinking you're a silly bastard tanner. Well yeah but I still want to learn how to fight. I've been watching the UFC a lot lately and I think that's something I'd really like to do. Unfortunately I haven't found a Mixed Martial Arts training facilities around here. It's a damn shame I don't live in Colorado anymore. That would be an awesome place to train because of the elevation and I'm sure there are quite a few places around there. and for all of you that keep emailing me and asking. The 2 weeks that there aren't shows from radio bam up there they were repeats quite asking. That's why last weeks show was #59. I do have this weeks show but haven't had a chance to put it up yet. I'll try and do that today. Labels: Journal, Just one of those days, lost .tanner - 11 comments - Post a Comment ::. comment: Trust me Tanner, cut all ties with the bitch and don't ever look back. Yes it hurts now, trust me I know, but I promise you'll feel better Especially when you move on and start looking for someone else. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you in pain. Rather know that someday she will want you and you won't want her. - 420skydiver : 8/3/06 8:21 AM ::. comment: I don't think that she's a bitch. It's just not easy bro. Maybe we just need to not be together. I dunno man. - tanner : 8/3/06 9:53 PM ::. comment: Yeah I would say that you should not be together because its just causing you pain. Look at my situation man. Do you want to stay with her until that happens to you or would you rather cut ties and do the things that make you happy - 420skydiver : 9/3/06 7:47 AM ::. comment: I would probably beat that mother fucker to death if what happened to you happened to me. I just can't even fathom doing that to someone. I wish it was easier to shake man. I wish i could just say fuck it but I miss her. All I keep doing is thinking about her with another guy and that fucks with me. - tanner : 9/3/06 10:37 AM ::. comment: I feel you man, I still think about Dasia and I still miss her but I had to get over it because it was already too late. So do you get over it because you have to, or do you get over it because you decided it wasn't worth it anymore - 420skydiver : 9/3/06 6:11 PM ::. comment: hey man, im sorry all that shit keeps happening to you, it sucks to be hurt like that. you and her were together for so long, i dont think she's gonna be looking at anyone like she looked at you-even if she says she went on a date with some guy - Anonymous : 12/3/06 1:17 PM ::. comment: The funny thing is that all this shit keeps happening because of one person. I think thats what bothers me the most is that we've been together for so long and its hard for me to imagine her with another guy like she's just replacing me so quickly. I dunno to much to keep thinking about. - tanner : 13/3/06 3:54 AM ::. comment: she can't replace you, she's not going to replace you - Anonymous : 13/3/06 8:35 AM ::. comment: Anon - you seem to know a lot about this girl. I guess thats why she won't even talk to me. Cuz she can't replace me - tanner : 13/3/06 4:54 PM ::. comment: The exact same thing with my first love, it was complicated when we were together as a "couple", but once we started hanging out as just two people, it really felt good to see her, and it also felt releiving to not have all of that presure. But I hear you on the feeling stupid part, thats all you can do when getting over a relationship. The worst part of being out of a relashionship is being alone, so hang out with some friends, and try and get over her. - Alex : 15/3/06 5:01 AM ::. comment: Being alone is definately the worst part. You think about so many things, like I could see her now. or I know she's not in school now. or it was just perfect the other day and we could have done something outside. I shouldn't think about it but I do. It's just a lot easier said than done. - tanner : 15/3/06 6:05 AM

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