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man i'm fucking going nuts here, i don't know what to think. I'm feeling so many different things right now and it sucks. I don't have anyone to talk to so that sucks. Its just so damn depressing, its like i'm going no where in my life and i don't know what to do. I was just home for a week and i had a blast. i gott to be with my girlfriend for a week like everyday and nothing bothered me, it was great, i came back to colorado and its just been work. just like usual, had school today, it sucked. Since i've been back. I've gotten like 5 words out of her and it always worries the fuck out of me. I really want to talk to her and it just seems like she doesn't give a fuck and she's blowing me off. It hurts. so i'm sitting here being miserable, which i will be all fucking nite and into tomorrow because i feel like shit about this. this always fucking happens and i can't handle it. THe only god damn thing in the world that scares me is her. She has like so much control over how i feel its not funny. Like i'd rather get in a car accident, jump off a building, or kill myself then go through this shit and worry about her leaving me or getting fucked by some other guy while shes at the beach. I don't know why i worry, well i do because its happened before. and like i trust her I completely due but in the back of my mind i'm just so scared of going through that shit again. I dunno maybe all the worry is for nothing but writing this shit down is making me feel better already. Damnit i hate feeling like this, and its like i bet she doesn't give a shit. She said she was going to call me back and she never did, she forgot about me. The otther day the same thing happened, and she said i wouldn't forget about you. well i guess she did... .tanner - 0 comments - Post a Comment |
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